Day 16

Posted: November 17, 2012 in 90 Day Challenge, First 30
Tags: , , ,

Today was a bad day. It started off fine, everything was normal and good. I had eggs with bacon for breakfast and that’s always good. I had a nice workout planned. Today was the day for snatches and back squats. It didn’t happen though.

I was out i the garage warming up. I got three reps of 65# snatches in before I got the text with news I REALLY didn’t want to hear. It’s something personal, something i don’t feel like sharing with the world. But to sum it up I was betrayed by someone who I once trusted with every ounce of my being. Someone I have since come to learn is not who I thought he was. This betrayal cost me a lot of money.

I was devastated, distraught, furious, livid… so many emotions all at one time. For the first time since I developed my passion for lifting I experienced such an intense emotional state that I was unable to function for a while, let alone lift. Some close family and friends know what happened and I am so luck to have such a wonderful support system. I am grateful for every last one of them. I know that with them I will overcome this like I have all the other things I have been through in my life.

You can knock me down but I won’t stay there.

You can take away the things that I have and I will find a way to replace them

But you can not betray me and think that I will forgive. Especially when it impacts people I love. More-so when it impacts my children.

I am stronger than he ever knew and I am stronger because of all he put me through. This was the last thing that he could take from me that had any significance in my life.

The anger from this is still there and I don’t know how long I will be dealing with it. Today, however, is the only day it is allowed to hold me back. Tomorrow I will wake up and use it as fuel. Fuel for my workouts and fuel for doing what needs to be done. I will control it. It will NOT control me.

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